Things That Would Suck

8 Sep

On days when I come home from work and feel like the only thing holding back a panic attack is the bottle of wine waiting on the counter, it’s good to think about things that suck more than this. For example:

1. If one of my siblings turned out to be serial killer. Or a really bad spy.

2. If macaroni and cheese hadn’t been invented.

3. If I had to carpool to work with my husband.

4. If my neighbor had a meth lab in her basement.

5. If I didn’t like chocolate.

6. If big bangs came back in style.

7. If I was unemployed without insurance. And bored.

8. If my dog was not immortal. Thank goodness she’ll never die.

9. If the Kindle and iPod didn’t exist.

10. If I got car-jacked.

11. If I had to wear pantyhose. Ever.

12. If Joe Montana really wore those “Shape Up” tennis shoes.

13. If one of my parents was a drug addict.

14. If I was actually a lawyer.

15. If I was forced to move somewhere cold, and had no friends.

16. If I won the HGTV Dream House, but they were just kidding.

17. If Jeff Lewis was not on television.

18. If we suddenly found out that the monsters under the bed were real.

19. If I had to live in Kentucky.

20. If I was required to eat mayonnaise. At all.

See? I’m quite lucky, even on the bad days.

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One Response to “Things That Would Suck”

  1. Ashleigh September 10, 2010 at 12:56 pm #

    Ummm, “If I hadn’t brought a very stylish bag to the 1st day of Law School and as a result Ashleigh decided not to sit next to me and we were never friends.”

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