And then God created the Internet

24 Apr

After spending close to an hour yesterday on the phone with a darling mother, answering her most unfounded questions and concerns regarding her son, I directed her to obtain this same information in the future from a much more convenient and concise source. The internet.

Her reply: “Internet you say? A magical place where fact and fantasy meet in a searchable database extending to the ends of the earth? And here I could have accessed information which would have eliminated the need for our 47 minute conversation covering only hypothetical situations which may or may not happen two years from now? And there you would find published materials covering a wide range of topics, one of which would certainly have answered my specific inquiries today? Gosh, golly, gee, what an outstanding idea this Internet is! I shall find it at once and never again spend long hours waiting to speak with a customer service representative who is sure to think I’m dumber than box of rocks!”

Her true reply: “Thanks. I’ll call you again when I think of my other question.”

If people were to truly embrace the internet for what it is, GOD’S GIFT TO THE INFORMED WORLD, I would surely be out of a part-time job. For that, I’m thankful to this and every other mother who would rather wait 20 minutes listening to a recorded voice tell her how valuable her call is, just so she can speak with my honey-sweet voice on the other end.

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